LifeSux19's Datingish

Do your parents get involved?

Wed, 26 May 2010 12:23:40 GMT

A couple of weeks ago, my sister was left heart broken and miserable because the guy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with had broken up with her. Read my other blog: Couples Who Can’t Along…And you’ll see what I’m talking about.

I wasn’t very surprised when I heard about it. I just knew it would happen and someone had to be the bigger person to let it go. My sister on the other hand isn’t taking it very well, and her heartbrokenness led to her harassing him and then to him blocking her completely out. She got angry to the point to where she called our mother crying because he didn’t want to get back with her and didn’t want to speak to her. And knowing my mother, she’ll do anything to see her babies smile.

I felt bad for him because no matter how much he explained himself to her she just couldn’t understand the reasons why. So, when my mother saw how upset my sister was she got involved and called up her ex nearly cursing him out. I told my mother not to get involved and how Andrea (my sister) should learn how to fight her own battles without people fighting it for her. And thing about my sister is that she always gets her way one way or the other, because next thing you know he’ll end up knocking on the door with a dozen roses knowing that he doesn’t love her the way that he use to.

But James (my sisters ex) told my mother the same thing he had told my sister. But see, my mother is similar to my sister, when rejected they often lose their balance and don‘t know to act, they don’t always understand the reasons why, when deep down inside you know they understand but refused to admit it, and most of all they always try to make you feel guilty about your decision.

My mother think its because I’ve never been rejected that I don’t understand the feeling of being neglected and heartbroken. Yes, I do understand. I’ve been rejected before. I know what its like to have someone want you one minute and the next they’re pushing you aside. And just because I broke up with the guys who pushed me aside didn’t mean that I was not heartbroken afterwards. I just don’t take my heartbreaks to the point where I make myself miserable.

Everyone has different ways of handling a heartbreak up. But to get someone else involved because someone doesn’t want to be with you is a different story.

Have your parents ever been involved in your relationships? Were they the key to fixing it or making matters even worse?

Is it the women's job to cook and clean?

Thu, 06 May 2010 11:53:50 GMT

I’m going to throw this first question at you ladies and gentlemen:

Do you expect your SO to cook and clean for you? If so, Why? Would you take turns?

Another question:

Should it only be the women’s job to cook and clean while the guys just sit around and do nothing?

The reason why I’m asking these questions is because a friend of mine think it’s a women’s job to cook and clean. He isn’t the first guy to mention it, my brothers, yes my very own brothers told me that a woman’s place is home cleaning and in the kitchen cooking. I remember when I was working on a hard project at the age of fourteen, and my brothers quickly told me that they don’t see any reason why I go to school or do homework when my place should be home learning to cook and clean.

I cringed whenever a male relative comes over and expect you slave over a stove, get them a beer, and get them the remote that happens to be a foot away from them. I understand that they are guests but they are not strangers either.

My friend also mention that if a woman doesn’t cook or clean its pure laziness and she is not wife material. WTF. Since when? Shouldn’t that be other way around? Shouldn’t guys learn to get up off their asses, pick up a broom, and learn to put a pot on the stove instead of looking for women to do it??

I wouldn’t mind cooking for my SO just as long as we can take turns cooking and cleaning and balancing out our work together. But if he expects me to do everything, then I guess I’ll be the one cooking for myself.

Attracted...but for all the wrong reasons

Sun, 02 May 2010 23:55:35 GMT

There’s nothing wrong with being physically attracted to someone. But trying to make the attraction more physical is a different story in my opinion. There are times when I don’t mind the compliments, but when someone tries to ease their way to my comfort zone because they want a piece of something is way out of the question.

I tend to be more annoyed while the compliments just keep on flowing. I know what I look like, I know what I have, so please stop reminding me. I know a guy who compliment me all the time and its rather annoying than I thought it would be. You’re hot. You’re beautiful. You have a nice ass. You’re tits are big and round. You’re body is banging…Need to say more? Its just so annoying. And I hear these same compliments every single day.

When I was hanging out with him yesterday he just couldn’t keep his hands to himself. He reached out and grabbed my ass, kept rubbing his elbow against my boobs, tried to pick me up so that way my body was against his and that he’ll have every reason to put his hands on my ass. And even worse, he tried kissing me. When I saw that he got a little too close, he leaned over to me and whispered “I like you a lot, but I just want to get it all out” and before he could kiss me I turned away and gave him a mouth full of hair.

He isn’t the first guy to say these things to me let alone try to feel on my body just because he was that attracted to me. I guess the way I look makes me seem like I’m an easy target for others to come and try to play with me. But I’m not easy and most guys who tried this got shitted on by me.

Has anyone ever experienced this before? Share all your stories

Ten Things The Next Girl Should Know About My Ex

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:36:31 GMT

1. Don’t be surprised if he falls head over heels right after he asks you out.

2. Don’t be surprised if he takes you out and expects you to pay for everything.

3. He gets jealous very easily. So just give up all of your friends, ignore your family, and spend every waking hour with him. You will never have time alone let alone be happy.

4. He listens to his friends. They don’t have to know you and you don’t have to know them. Anything they say about you will have him questioning everything about you.

5. He think he can make your boobs grow. So if you’re a C cup and magically go into a Double D cup. Don’t be surprised its his magic. Make sure he touches your boobs every day, because if he doesn’t and they just magically burst through your shirt, don’t beat about the bush you’re just cheating on him.

6. He loves sex. I mean, who doesn’t. So when he’s feeling a little hot down there just give him a touch of you magic even though you don‘t feel like it. If you start feeling a little sick a few weeks later, you’d love how paranoid he gets until he start saying “I know its not mine. Who is it by?”

7. He has identity issues. So if he’s constantly changing the way he talks, the kind of music he listens to, the way he dress, his likes and dislikes…I can go on and on. Just pretend you didn’t notice.

8. Everything he says goes. End of discussion. Just keep your comments and feelings to yourself, because your comments and feelings would interfere with how GOOD the relationship is going.

9. He’s very manipulative and doesn’t take the blame on anything. And he will blame you for everything, even though you weren’t there when it happened. That includes blaming you on his family issues, the problems in the relationship, the reason why he is the way he is, his grades in school, and his loss of “friends”. Just say you’re sorry, I guarantee you he will never let it go.

10. The girl he talks to the most is the one he will end up with right after you break it off with him. So, don’t be surprised if he falls head over heels in love with her, uses her against you, and kisses her right in front of you.

When THAT song reminds you of someone

Sun, 25 Apr 2010 20:21:11 GMT

Today, I was taking the bus home, and while listening to my MP3 I came across a few songs that reminds me of someone I almost “loved”. It was one those slow R&B songs from the 1970s. And while I was sitting by the window on the bus, this slow song by the Intruders came on and went with what I saw before I got lost in my thoughts. What I saw was that it was raining, and its very weird that whenever I go out in the rain this song just randomly starts playing on my MP3.

My thoughts started to go back three years ago and I started to think about Carry (yes a guys name). Carry was this guy who was flat out hilarious. He even didn’t have to say anything because his expressions said it all. He was also very caring and cared a lot about people. He would even offer his seat to someone just because he thought about that person more than he thought about himself. And he was also very polite towards those around him.

I had met Carry during our freshman year of high school. I don’t remember exactly how we met, but all I remember is how badly we use to torture each other every time we ran into each other between our class periods. Haha Memories…But I ended up changing schools before my Junior year and I went months without seeing him until one day he shouted “MY CRUSH!!” as I got on the bus and walked towards the back without even seeing that he was there. He had no shame in his game and if he liked you more than ever he would be sure to tell you even if it put you in an awkward position. Did I mention that he was very down to earth? Well, he was that too.

But during the times when I was rekindling our little friendship I was dating a guy who was very possessive towards me and of course threatened to hurt Carry if he continued on with our friendship. Carry was basically the only friend I had, and who was willing to help me even though I didn’t want to be helped, held or filled with kisses. But he stuck around long enough before I pushed him away. And I know it had hurt him, I felt his hurt even though I wasn’t there to see it.

Its been about three years since I last saw Carry and talked to him. And the reason why these songs I play remind me of him is because that was all he use to play. I could hear him play those old songs and say “now what you know about this?” Not that I didn’t know the songs, because I knew all the songs before he old me he had an old soul like I had.

I’ve been trying to find him from myspace to just randomly looking through my old phone books every now and then. But looking for him is just impossible…almost as if he never existed. I just wish to hear his voice again and apologize for everything I’ve ever said to him.

Untitle

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 13:01:09 GMT

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend who was upset that his girlfriend had left him for her ex. He wouldn’t go deep into the reasons why, but I tried to cope with him, and give him the best advice I had. He turned to me and said “man, I loved her so much. She was the best girlfriend I have ever had. I quickly said the same line everybody says “just give it time, you’ll move on and find someone better.” To when he mentioned she was his fourteenth girlfriend. WOAH! WTF!

I don’t want to sound mean. But shoot, having fourteen girlfriends is beyond ridiculous in my book. I understand having three or maybe even four girlfriends, but anything beyond five is ridiculous to me. I understand that most people want to find that long term love never dies committed relationship, but that’s why we have dating. To get to know people, to build a friendship, and to see where you stand with this person. Not to jump into the fire and think you won’t get burnt.

What was your first date like?

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 18:01:41 GMT

My first date was horrible. There are no other ways to describe how my date went. It was just that horrible.

Before I went out on my first date I was already in a relationship with my boyfriend, Matthew. Back then, there was no such thing as dating or getting to know each other.

It was more like this:

Guy: You wanna go out with me?

Girl: hmm okay J

*Official*

But I was friends with Matthew before he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I was his girlfriend before he had asked me out on a date. After lets say five months of being in a relationship he finally asked me out on a date. He wanted to impress me and show me how much of a gentleman he truly was.

When I asked my mother for her permission she told me “Sure. But if he’s a true gentleman, he will pick you up at your front door.” When I told Matthew he had to come and pick me up it was almost as if I was dealing with a little kid you had to drag to the doctor. When my mother overheard me asking him to pick me up she took the phone from me and said “if you really want to see my daughter, you have to come to my house that way I can meet you.”

He came alright. But I had to pick him up before he came to pick me up. Why? Because all the sudden he forgot where I lived. He met my mother too, and she had him shaking all over. He was so nervous. I even saw the sweat dripping down the side of his face. My mother walked us to the nearest store, and told him to wait outside while I came inside. She turned to me and told me “if anything” she then handed me twenty dollars “come straight home. I know how some guys can be.”

Little did I know he was watching me and my every move. And when my mother and I came out the store and let us go our own way to the movies he quickly asked me “how much she gave you?” At first I wasn’t going to say anything, but I told him “just twenty dollars.”

When we got the movies we were debating about what movie we wanted to see. I wanted to see Night at the Museum, and he wanted to see X-men. By the time we got towards the front of the line he finally agreed to see Night at the Museum with me. I then pulled out my twenty dollar bill and told him I’ll pay for the tickets. That was my old trick just to see if he was going to pay it or not. When we got to the cash register he told me that he will pay for the tickets, and once he saw the price I swore I saw smoke coming out his ears. We could’ve gotten the tickets for cheap if we had our school Ids, It would at least had been 16.00 plus tax, but instead it came out to about 18.00 plus tax. I watched him as he slammed the twenty dollar bill on the table giving me the meanest look ever. But he should have not been mad at me he wanted to pay and plus he wanted to take me out. Plus, he had a shit load of money, more than that crappy twenty dollar bill I had. He believe he had about 200 dollars on him the most.

He then took the tickets and shoved my ticket in my hand and told me over and over again “next time you’re paying for yourself.” I was sort of giggling to ignore the embarrassment and the way he was talking to me. I felt like going somewhere just to cry. It was so embarrassing. Then he didn’t want to buy anything to eat at all. No popcorn, no soda, no nachos, no nothing. We had about ten minutes before the movie started and we decided to head out of the theater and go to the corner store real quick. He started putting everything he wanted on the counter and told me if I wanted my own things that I had to pay for it myself. So I bought a bag of chips.

We made our way back to the theater and still had minutes before the movie had started. He was still mad at the price of the movie tickets and isolated himself from me. Once he saw guys staring at me he came over to me grabbed me and started hugging all over me. He was very jealous btw. When the movie had started for some reason I had the urge to get something else to eat. Those potato chips I had done nothing to me. So I told him to hold my seat while I went to get me a soda and nachos.

While standing on the line he called me on my cell phone and told me “hurry up quick, someone is about to take your seat.” He refused to hold my seat or at least put something there to let someone know someone was sitting there. I then had to rush back, and of course I had my nachos and soda.

And here goes the funny part. As I was eating my nachos and drinking my soda, I notice how he was staring at my nachos with his mouth watering and everything. I didn’t bother to offer him none and told him if he wanted his own he should get it his own self. Lol. He was pissed.

After the movie was over I was surprised that he took me home. Well, that was until then my mother called and made him walk me to my front door, because he was going to leave me at the corner of the movie theater while I walked the rest of the way home (which is very far). I don't even think we had a conversation. But once we got to my door step he had the nerve to tell me he had a good time and that we should do this again. WTF after all the shit he gave me one this one day just to prove to me how much of an asshole he was.

This was the worst day of my life and it was so embarrassing. I ended paying him back the movie ticket he bought me. And told him to never ask me out again because it was going to be HELL NO.

Couples who can’t get along

Fri, 02 Apr 2010 01:07:59 GMT

My sister fights with her boyfriend 95% of the time throughout the day, and crazy hours of the night. I have no idea on what they fight about and I don’t even try to butt in. It just annoys me when its just one of those quiet and relaxing days and right when you’re about to settle yourself down you could hear her in the back room yelling at her boyfriend over the phone.

She doesn’t say much about what they fight about, but I know my sister and how she is, and when she wants things her way she’ll be sure to fight with you until she gets what she wants. Her boyfriend is actually a nice guy and does everything for her. He even fathered my one year old niece (her daughter) when she was just a new born. And even waits for her in the pouring rain, the snow, or just a nice warm or chilly day just to walk her to school, and take her to her first period class. Usually you will never met any guys like that. Pssh. He even helps my mom with the groceries.

I even told my sister “if you can’t get along with him, then what’s the use of being with him?” I don’t think she even had a good answer to my question, she’s more negative than positive, and the thought of her being without him just makes her so angry. Sometimes I feel as if she starts most of the fights anyway. I remember one time when we were sitting in the living room just joking around, and when he made a joke about her she got up and left. When I went in the kitchen to ask her if anything was wrong, you could see the devious look on her face as if she meant to do it, and wanted him to come running behind her apologizing for no reason. (In which he did).

I don’t get it. She has a good guy who is also a father to her baby, and yet she wants to take advantage of him just because he’s being good to her. But then again I don’t know what goes on in their relationship and what triggers the fights. I feel if you can’t get along with someone then it makes no sense on being with them. It doesn’t make the relationship stronger or you two closer (like most people think it does), because eventually one person or the other will end up leaving and heart broken over a relationship that never worked out.

When your friend dates your ex

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 17:01:12 GMT

I’m not going to say any names, but one topic is really pissing me off, and it has something to do with a friend dating their bffs ex.

I know there are boundaries that best friends should NOT cross, and that as a friend you should learn to respect that. So that means dating an ex is totally off limits, and sometimes even family members are off limits. But there are people who do go out of their way and date someone, someone else doesn’t want them to date.

I have a friend, lets call him Mark, who has been dwelling on his best friend dating his ex girlfriend. I mean, he even made a fan page out of it on Facebook. The fan page is pretty cool actually, and they update it every day. I understand he’s hurt by it, but this happened months ago. He broke up with his girlfriend last year, he never told me the reasons why, but he did break up with her. He can’t seem to let it go, it hurts him, I understand, I been there before…But just let it go.

He posted how betrayed he felt everywhere from his Myspae to Facebook to Aim, just any place where it was visible for everyone to see. There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself, but that will not change anyone’s relationship status based on the way you feel. I tried it. It will not work. They don’t care and will never care.

Some friends do it in spite, I know. I had a friend who did it in spite. Sometimes feelings get in the way and you can’t help yourself. Your friend turns against you for someone they don’t know how long they will last with. And eventually it doesn’t always last and guess who comes crawling back to you?

Just let it go. Just let it be. There is NOTHING you can do about it but just move on from it. It just goes to show you how much of a friend they were to begin with.

They don’t want to see us together

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 16:11:59 GMT

Today, I was going through my friends status on face book, and came across on few things that made me think. And I realized how much people seem to dwell on those who supposedly don’t want them with their SO. “People like who?” I begin to think…Their family? Friends? Or just total strangers?

Do people actually go up to you and tell you who they don’t want to see you with? Or is it the vibe you get once you step into a room full of people with your SO beside you?

I remember dating this guy who use to dwell so much on things people would say about us. It just became something he fed off of and constantly told me “people think they know us, but they have no idea”. But see, I was type of person that never let anything bothered me. Yes there were people coming up to me and questioning me about my relationship, telling me what they thought of it, or either try to getting next to my SO. But it never rubbed off on me. I’ve never made a big deal out of it because I wasn’t in a relationship with them, I was with him.

...I'm not finished with this blog yet...I will write more later.